Warmth of a Memory
by Krystal Anime
Summary: A chance meeting. A father's love. A second embrace of comfort. JC


Summary: A chance meeting. A father's love. A second embrace of comfort. JC

* * *

Her carefree giggles were all the convincing he needed as he set her down and watched her race off into the playground. The afternoon suns of this distant Federation colony reflected off her golden hair as it whipped and bounced along with her. There were other children in the park, and he warned her to be careful when she came close to running over a young boy playing in the sand. Not slowing down, she jumped over the edge of his sand sculptures, just barely missing a carefully crafted hill as she continued on her path, to the open geodesic structure.

When Edward Janeway caught up with her, he bent down to begin to help her up. That's when she stubbornly held up an open palm to him, and told him in her young voice to back off, she was going to climb it without assistance. He chuckled and raised up his own hands, taking two steps back to show his surrender. Even at two years old, she was already establishing a command presence. There was no question in his mind that she was his daughter. If she ever followed in his footsteps and joined Starfleet, she would undoubtedly have her eye on the captain's chair, as he did.

He watched as she grasped the colorful bars with her small but remarkably strong hands, and steadied herself as she took her first step. When she was certain the playground structure would hold her weight, she brought her other foot up on the bar and stood up straight. A smile appeared as she gazed at the world around her, enjoying the slightly higher view.

She stood like that long enough for him to begin to notice the rising pain in his back. He stood up straight and looked around for a seat. There were a couple benches bordering the playground. He trod over to one and plopped down, the exhaustion of the past work week finally catching up with him. Though he loved his job, and took pride in his career at Starfleet, he had certainly welcomed the leave he had been granted. Especially now that he had started a family.

His young daughter's smiling face caught his attention, and he returned her lopsided grin. Today had been his last duty shift before his leave, and he couldn't resist bringing her aboard to show her off to his shipmates. Some of the younger ensigns had quickly but politely congratulated him before continuing about their business, leaving him a bit embarrassed by his display of parental pride. However, as he continued his rounds, his sweet daughter caught the attention of other crewmen who were parents like himself. They implicitly understood why he had brought her aboard with him during his duty shift, and weren't shy to fawn over her. His admiration of his daughter grew when he saw how at ease she was around the friendly strangers.

It was enough to make him forget all about the stiff, younger ensigns and his earlier embarrassment. It was only now, as he sat on the park bench, reviewing the day's events in his mind that he even remembered the awkward event. He held no resentment towards them. He remembered being exactly like them; blinders on, eyes and mind focused solely on duty. Like him, it would take experience to teach them to open their minds. It would take time to practice their duties until they could do them almost subconsciously, freeing up their conscious mind so they could focus on new challenges. Challenges like command. Challenges like parenting.

His daughter's giggle brought him temporarily back to the present and he watched as she climbed horizontally around the hemisphere, faster than before. She was becoming more skilled on this new structure in the few minutes she'd been introduced to it. The speed at which she learned never ceased to amaze him, and as much as he'd like to convince himself that his child was especially intelligent, he understood that all parents must feel this way. Still, she was remarkable, and he wondered if she would choose to join Starfleet like he did. He wondered if she would become a stiff, young ensign, mind focused solely on duty, as he used to be. He wondered if she would ever find love.

Edward's thoughts were interrupted when he saw the doors to the courthouse across the street open. He watched as civilians and officials began filing out for the day. Many were human, but there were several aliens as well. It reminded him just how much of an important hub this metropolis was becoming for the people who lived in this distant part of Federation territory. For him and his fellow crewmates, this planet was simply shore leave. But, he speculated, for most of the people filing out of the courthouse, this region was their home, and this Federation city, a capital of sorts.

He heard the melodic simulated bells of the clock tower, and looked down at his own chronometer to view the universal time. They were due to meet his wife at the coffee shop down the street in a few minutes.

"Daddy, look!"

He looked up to see his daughter standing on the very top of the hemisphere structure, her arms outstretched in the air in a victory pose. He chuckled and praised, "Very good, Kathryn! Now, come on down. It's time to go." Even at this distance, he could see her beginning to protest, so he added, "It's time to go see Mommy."

That made the deal more appealing. He could tell as he watched her disappointment melt into a small smile at the prospect of seeing the second person she loved more than anything in this entire galaxy.

She began to carefully descend and he got up to help her. Even as he rose from his seat, he caught her telltale glare at him. She was already forming the words when he held up his hands again and sat back down. She was becoming independent so quickly. He had to keep reminding himself to loosen up on the innate overprotection he had ever since the day she was born. Even she was telling him that he needed to let her do and learn some things on her own. So, he resolved to sit and watch her slowly climb down the structure that was at least twice as tall as she was.

The trip down and backwards was proving a challenge. She had mastered grasping the bars with her hands, but leading with her feet required looking behind her and several careful tests of balance. Suddenly her foot slipped from its support. The other leg caught her weight on the bar at her shin, and the shock of pain made her release her hold on the upper bars. She fell through the middle of the structure, flat onto the sand.

"Kathryn!"

Her father was up by the time she let out her first choked sob. He more than halfway to her when he noticed that the boy who had been playing in the sand nearby had already climbed through the structure, helped her up, and was now holding her, gently rubbing her back as she bawled against his chest.

Edward watched them with surprise and curiosity. The boy looked to be only a couple years older than her, but judging by how gentle he was, he obviously had experience with calming younger children. Perhaps he had younger siblings.

Edward tried calling her name, but Kathryn's own crying drowned out his voice from her ears. The children were trapped within the center of the geodesic hemisphere, and he doubted he would be able to fit through one of the openings without getting stuck. Unable to reach them, and unable to get her attention, all he could do at the moment was watch. To his surprise, Kathryn actually began to calm down in the boy's arms. He half-wondered if this boy was telepathic.

When she had finally quieted down enough, Edward tried calling her name again. She heard him this time, and turned around to see him. The boy released her and she ran over to her father, letting him pick her up through the bars as new tears began to stream down her face. He held her to his chest, shushing her and stroking her hair. He looked down to see the boy staring at them. Edward smiled at him, "You're very good with younger children, at least with her." The boy's cheeks reddened slightly, but he had nothing to say, obviously shy.

"Chakotay!" called a man from the opposite border of the playground. The boy responded by climbing out of the structure and running towards the man, was most likely his father. Edward observed them. Both wore civilian clothes he did not recognize. Most likely they were from one of the more distant colonies of this region. Edward Janeway idly wondered what business had brought them to this city. As the father and son walked away, Janeway suddenly remembered his own appointment.

Kathryn's sobs had subsided and he shifted her in his arms so he could take a look at her injured leg. There was a bruise forming, but otherwise she seemed fine. Nothing a short trip to a nearby clinic couldn't fix. He promised her they would see to it after they met with her mother first, so she wouldn't worry. Kathryn agreed, her smile returning at the prospect of seeing her mother. He was a bit in awe at how quickly she had recovered this time.

The image of that boy holding her, comforting her while she cried, was recalled into his mind. As they walked across the park, his thoughts were brought back to pondering her future. Would she ever find love? He hoped that if and when she did, she'd find someone as gentle and caring as that boy had been. Someone who would comfort her when she needed it.

* * *

Years passed, and Kathryn had now grown into an adult with more responsibilities and challenges than she'd ever expected when she initially signed up for Starfleet. It seemed as though those challenges had grown exponentially in the last few months, and compounded tenfold just today. That was why her first officer was here, in her quarters, discussing their options. None of them were satisfactory, and some were even downright grim.

She sighed, it had been a particularly trying day, and above all that had happened, she still couldn't get out of her head the most recent crew member she had lost. For a brief moment, she allowed herself to think about everyone she had lost over the years in this damned quadrant. She thought of the emptiness their families must feel when they learn of their fates here; how they died alone, far from their homes and loved ones. These dark thoughts were normally restrained; usually pushed aside during the heat of battle, or buried deeply during times of peace. She had been trained not to dwell on such losses. She knew she had to stay focused on getting the rest home. But here, now, in her weakened, sleep-deprived state, and the weight of the past few months crushing her, her mind went there, and her thoughts spiraled downward.

She suddenly choked back an involuntary sob. Something about its pitch made him react immediately, almost on some kind of instinct. Before he realized what he was doing, he already had her in his arms. It was surprising, even to himself, how quickly and easily he had crossed the boundaries that he had always respected until now. Chakotay wasn't sure if he should apologize or wait for her to pull away first.

But she didn't move.

Perhaps she was still trying to discern his intentions. Hell, he was still trying to figure out what had made him gather her into his arms, himself. Then he realized all he had wanted to do was comfort her. He began gently rubbing her back to show that his intentions were chaste. His heart sang though, when she returned his hug, wrapping her arms around him as well. She vented all her frustration and pain as sobs against his chest. He continued to hold her close.

It wasn't long before she calmed. After she was collected enough, she pulled away slightly to look at him. He released her and she broke the awkward silence with some much needed levity, "It has been a trying day, hasn't it." she forced a smile, a new sense of determination allowing her to let the dark thoughts slide away. They would do her no good, she reminded her tired mind. It was time to stay focused on finding a solution to the problem at hand.

They began to talk again.

First, Chakotay mixed in some lighthearted jokes into his own responses to encourage her recovery. Then they moved into more a serious analysis on how they came into this mess. Eventually, they came back to discussing their options for their current predicament. This time, Kathryn was able to look at them with a refreshed sense of strength and objectivity. With renewed intuition, they both discovered a new option, a bit more promising although no small task to implement. However, she was becoming more optimistic, and he knew he had her back when she flashed one of her lopsided grins at one of his recent attempts to lighten the mood.

A pause existed between them before she commented, "You know … that felt strangely familiar."

"Us having this conversation before?"

"No ..." she looked up at him with a warmth and a kind of sadness he couldn't discern, "Your embrace."

Her straightforwardness took him by surprise. For a moment he wasn't sure if she was still trying to judge his intentions with that embrace. "Kathryn, I didn't mean to- … I only meant to offer you comfort."

She smiled, raising a hand to let him know that he wasn't under any scrutinization here, "I know. I was just commenting on how familiar it felt ... almost like a memory."

Chakotay visibly relaxed, "I have to agree, although, to my knowledge that's the first time I've embraced you like that."

She knew better than to take his flirtations seriously. He may not have been flirting intentionally. He may have been trying to lighten the mood with old habits. With careful practice, she reciprocated his light tone while simultaneously redirecting their conversation before it became awkward, "Perhaps we're caught in a time loop."

Now it was his turn to smile, "I sure hope not. We have too much on our hands at the moment to be worrying about time loops as well."

"Agreed, lets get to work on implementing that plan." She began to move with renewed energy towards the door when she halted, and turned back around to him, "And Chakotay?"

"Yes?"

She stepped closer to him so that she could show her sincerity, "Thank you. For your comfort."

He smiled broadly, "You're welcome ... I'm glad. For a moment I was worried I had breached a boundary with that hug."

She thought about it for a moment and realized that not only had it helped her recover, but subsequently, it had also allowed her to find a better solution to their current dilemma.

"Maybe this is one boundary we can breach ... as friends."

He agreed. The implication of her careful addition was not lost to him. However, he doubted that even she could deny this was a new step in a direction they had always wanted to take their relationship. Perhaps some day she would stop fighting it and they would both agree to take their friendship to the next level. Whatever the future held for them, as long as his gentle embrace succeeded in giving her even the slightest amount of comfort, enough to lighten her burdens even temporarily, he would give it whenever she needed.

The End.


End file.
